Acting Upon Instincts
May 8, 2006I don’t know if it’s due to watching too much movies or reading much mystery novels that drives this…but I’ve always felt as if I’m somewhat overcautious over things around me. I’ve always been a little too suspicious of people around me…particularly those who act a tad strangely…
To elaborate on that…whenever I walk on alleys(esp when it’s nighttime), and there’d be a certain someone walking behind me, I usually try to find an excuse to stop on my tracks(pretend there’s pebbles in my shoes and try to take em out, etc. etc.) just so I could let the person behind me walk ahead of me instead…hehe. It’s always been like that for me ever since I was in high school.
Well, anywayz…you might wonder why I’m bringing this up now. You see, just about an hour ago, I was gonna watch M:I:III. (why was gonna? you’ll find out in a bit).
I arrived at the cinemas 15 minutes late for the screen time. I kinda hesitated, but I bought the ticket, anyway. This isn’t actually the first time for me to watch a movie alone. I’ve done it a zillion times, as a matter of fact. However, this is the first time that I felt little uneasy about it…about my watching a movie alone(didn’t know why). Hmm…
Moving ahead…where was I…uh…ahh..yeah…bought the ticket…went towards the movie house…had my bag checked by the attendant…came in through main the door…and came in through the bathroom door to empty my bladder. But I didn’t do the latter without having caught a glimpse of this guy, whom, as I noticed as I walked towards the comfort room, was on his way out of the movie house. And just as I closed the main door to the C.R., I saw that he had stopped on his tracks, right in front of the movie house’s main door. Hmm…I don’t know why the notion abruptly hit me, but I rather thought that was uhh..a little odd…his pausing in front of the door(I mean considering that he was on his way out already, I kinda wondered why he had to pause right there…right that moment when I came in…hmmm…). So I thought….maybe he was waiting for someone from the ladies’ C.R. But I saw, as I came in, that I was alone, and all cubicle doors in the bathroom were open…confirming that no one else indeed was in there but me. So I said…ok…he’s not waiting for anyone from in here except…uh…I don’t know. You tell me.
So there I was going through this must-do-before-catching-a-movie ritual of mine. And all the while, I was thinking…if this guy’s still out there once I come out from this bathroom…then there’s gotta be something I’m not gonna like. So then…I was done…fixed my hair a bit(lady’s habit…lolz)…5 minutes, I think has come and gone…then I went out from the C.R. And guess what…the guy was still there. Still standing. Right in front of the main door. He looked at me and me him, as I came out. Red eyes were what greeted me. And at that moment(NO, I wasn’t struck with cupid’s arrow!), I didn’t care that I wanted so much to watch the film. I didn’t care that I’ve already paid for the ticket. I just walked into the movie house(I heard footsteps following me, as I did so)…made a 90 degrees turn(I didn’t see much people seated in the movie house..didn’t spot even one, to say the least)…then another 90 degrees turn…and rushed towards the door, the other exit of the cinema. And then I asked to have my palm stamped so I could come back at a later screening time(or maybe not). Right at that moment, I felt the uneasiness of the whole thing go away.
I thought to myself as I walked home…”What were you thinking?!”…”How could you be such a paranoid?”…”How were you even sure of the reason why the man stayed at that doorstep?”…”Sayanga sa bayad uy!“…”Arrhg! Silly! Silly!”. And then I thought of other things, too. Like how I felt so calm and thoughtful during those doubtful moments. I thought of how I didn’t panic much…and how possibilities of danger had struck me almost instantly when they normally wouldn’t. And I also thought…of how I felt God’s hands on my shoulders all the while. Like He was there each second…telling me what to do. I felt Him push me towards the cinema’s other door instead of towards the seats. I felt Him. He guided me. And if the price of feeling His presence like that would be as much as the price of a movie ticket, then I would gladly spend for it…twice as much.
So tell me now. What was it? Stupid assumptions? Paranoia? Overcautiousness? Or God’s guidance? I strongly feel it to be the latter.
I also learned one thing today. That it isn’t just about trusting your instincts…it’s about trusting Him. Thank You po. 
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Acting Upon Instincts
I don’t know if it’s due to watching too much movies or reading much mystery novels that drives this…but I’ve always felt as if I’m somewhat overcautious over things around me. I’ve always been a little too suspicious of people around me…particularly those who act a tad strangely…
To elaborate on that…whenever I walk on alleys(esp when it’s nighttime), and there’d be a certain someone walking behind me, I usually try to find an excuse to stop on my tracks(pretend there’s pebbles in my shoes and try to take em out, etc. etc.) just so I could let the person behind me walk ahead of me instead…hehe. It’s always been like that for me ever since I was in high school.
Well, anywayz…you might wonder why I’m bringing this up now. You see, just about an hour ago, I was gonna watch M:I:III. (why was gonna? you’ll find out in a bit).
I arrived at the cinemas 15 minutes late for the screen time. I kinda hesitated, but I bought the ticket, anyway. This isn’t actually the first time for me to watch a movie alone. I’ve done it a zillion times, as a matter of fact. However, this is the first time that I felt little uneasy about it…about my watching a movie alone(didn’t know why). Hmm…
Moving ahead…where was I…uh…ahh..yeah…bought the ticket…went towards the movie house…had my bag checked by the attendant…came in through main the door…and came in through the bathroom door to empty my bladder. But I didn’t do the latter without having caught a glimpse of this guy, whom, as I noticed as I walked towards the comfort room, was on his way out of the movie house. And just as I closed the main door to the C.R., I saw that he had stopped on his tracks, right in front of the movie house’s main door. Hmm…I don’t know why the notion abruptly hit me, but I rather thought that was uhh..a little odd…his pausing in front of the door(I mean considering that he was on his way out already, I kinda wondered why he had to pause right there…right that moment when I came in…hmmm…). So I thought….maybe he was waiting for someone from the ladies’ C.R. But I saw, as I came in, that I was alone, and all cubicle doors in the bathroom were open…confirming that no one else indeed was in there but me. So I said…ok…he’s not waiting for anyone from in here except…uh…I don’t know. You tell me.
So there I was going through this must-do-before-catching-a-movie ritual of mine. And all the while, I was thinking…if this guy’s still out there once I come out from this bathroom…then there’s gotta be something I’m not gonna like. So then…I was done…fixed my hair a bit(lady’s habit…lolz)…5 minutes, I think has come and gone…then I went out from the C.R. And guess what…the guy was still there. Still standing. Right in front of the main door. He looked at me and me him, as I came out. Red eyes were what greeted me. And at that moment(NO, I wasn’t struck with cupid’s arrow!), I didn’t care that I wanted so much to watch the film. I didn’t care that I’ve already paid for the ticket. I just walked into the movie house(I heard footsteps following me, as I did so)…made a 90 degrees turn(I didn’t see much people seated in the movie house..didn’t spot even one, to say the least)…then another 90 degrees turn…and rushed towards the door, the other exit of the cinema. And then I asked to have my palm stamped so I could come back at a later screening time(or maybe not). Right at that moment, I felt the uneasiness of the whole thing go away.
I thought to myself as I walked home…”What were you thinking?!”…”How could you be such a paranoid?”…”How were you even sure of the reason why the man stayed at that doorstep?”…”Sayanga sa bayad uy!“…”Arrhg! Silly! Silly!”. And then I thought of other things, too. Like how I felt so calm and thoughtful during those doubtful moments. I thought of how I didn’t panic much…and how possibilities of danger had struck me almost instantly when they normally wouldn’t. And I also thought…of how I felt God’s hands on my shoulders all the while. Like He was there each second…telling me what to do. I felt Him push me towards the cinema’s other door instead of towards the seats. I felt Him. He guided me. And if the price of feeling His presence like that would be as much as the price of a movie ticket, then I would gladly spend for it…twice as much.
So tell me now. What was it? Stupid assumptions? Paranoia? Overcautiousness? Or God’s guidance? I strongly feel it to be the latter.
I also learned one thing today. That it isn’t just about trusting your instincts…it’s about trusting Him. Thank You po.
All comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
