Crying Before the Hurt
June 15, 2006Sometimes, things around you make you feel like you’ve found something special. You feel like something wonderful is about to happen in your life. And then in just three words, everything shifts from sunshine to rain. From warmth to chill. From light to dark. From glee to gloom.
Everything could change in just a snap, they all say. And they all are right. One minute, you’re humming love songs, and in the next, noise bangs in your head so loudly, you feel like world is crumbling to pieces.
When I was little, I used to anticipate sadness. I used to supress too much happiness in delighting over things when I knew anguish would come next. And I did pretty well. I learned how to control the level of glee that shoots up to my nerves. I don’t know how I did it, but I did. Kinda funny when you think of it, huh?
So now maybe that’s what I should just do. Cry before the hurt comes. Brace myself for wretchedness ’cause there’s a fifty-fifty chance of it happening. Oh, did i say that’s what I should do? I actually meant that’s what I should have done. I should’ve saved myself the worry when I still had time to do so. Shouldn’t have went a notch higher without warning myself. Now the stinky reality fumes its stench. And all I could do is face it and helplessly repulse in its yucky funk. Couldn’t blame me, though. (If you knew, you’d agree.)
The next time, I’d know better.
And, hey, if you ask me why later? Just go have a snack. You’re probably just hungry.
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